Golfing Book

[kabulcalling]

I have recently completed work on my latest book on golf .
This book gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information
that I have gained through my years of course experience.

Highlights include:

Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough when, you just hit a
Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3) How to Get More distance off the Shank
Chapter 4) When to Give your opponent the Finger
Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer before 9:00 a.m
Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball that everyone else saw go in the Water
Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapter 8) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee
Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

The book also includes the latest GOLF TERMS…




• A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
• A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer
• A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
• A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
• A Cuban - needs one more revolution
• An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
• An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
• A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
• A Kate Winslett - a bit flat but otherwise perfect
• A Kate Moss - bit thin
• A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
• A Rodney King - over-clubbed
• An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
• A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
• A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
• A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
• An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty
• A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
• A circus tent - a BIG top
• A sister-in-law - I'm up there but know that I shouldn't be

Ah, the joys of golf!

[Sean]

As an accasional player I found them funny!!

Also I found funny that, judging by the ammount of repsponses you have to this, I bet there are not that many golfers in this club...or many that admit to playing anyway! :-)

[CD]

I thought Golf was a slightly boring German car.

[doyle]

;D ;D

Just got me a new set of Ping's. Enjoying the game now.

[Deeps]

Jun 24, 2012 11:23:34 GMT Sean said:

As an accasional player I found them funny!!

Also I found funny that, judging by the amount of repsponses you have to this, I bet there are not that many golfers in this club...or many that admit to playing anyway! :-)

I will own up to hacking my way around a golf course occasional, and i also found them amusing, much like my golf partners find my golf shots.

[grafeoz]

In my yoofh I used to go around a 72 course in about 90 and I thought I was doing alright. Haven't played much in the last 20 years because of a medial ligament problem.

The 19th hole is always good but a bit of a problem if you hit off at 7am

All of the above very true Kabul!