Post by ribbit on Aug 5, 2011 13:19:48 GMT
No offence to our Norf East bretheren, but this is just so damn funny.....
A small zoo in Newcastle acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, becamevery difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in season.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Geordie Elliott, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Geordie, like many Newcastle men, felt he had ample ability to satisfy the any female.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution..
Geordie was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?
Geordie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First",
Geordie said, "Nee kissin’ on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "Ye cannit nivva tell neebody aboot this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Geordie said, "Ah want all the bairns raised as Newcastle fans."
Once again it was agreed.
4. "And last of all", Geordie stated, "You Gotta givvus another
week to come up with the £500"
A small zoo in Newcastle acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, becamevery difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in season.
To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Geordie Elliott, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Geordie, like many Newcastle men, felt he had ample ability to satisfy the any female.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution..
Geordie was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?
Geordie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First",
Geordie said, "Nee kissin’ on the lips."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "Ye cannit nivva tell neebody aboot this."
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Geordie said, "Ah want all the bairns raised as Newcastle fans."
Once again it was agreed.
4. "And last of all", Geordie stated, "You Gotta givvus another
week to come up with the £500"
